Salena Godden: A strong and stiffly worded letter should do the trick…
Dear war makers and war takers
Twitchy button pushers and mushroom cloud worshippers
Bomb botherers and gun polishers
Chemical weapon wielders and coup-cooers
Battle cry criers and army gatherers
Bullet loaders and knife sharpeners
Death collators, chief whips and spins and
Dear Kings and dear Lords and dear Right Honourables
To the Dear Mr Presidents and Dear Mr Prime ministers -
Thank you for taking some time to read this letter
I am writing to make a small request -
Please could you all just take a fucking day off
Go to the park, feed the ducks, read a book
Take a break and put down your war stirring spoons
Shush with your fighting talk
Stop with your itchy button pushy fingers
Quit being so trigger happy
Give your eye-for-an-eye campaign a rest
Just take some time out -
Do your laundry, water your plants, visit your mother
Pull a sickie, have a duvet day, watch a whole season of Breaking Bad
But just stop.
I suggest you all turn off your phones
Unplug your internet and take a breather
Stop winding each other up
I don’t care who started this trouble
You’re all as bad as each other
I want to send you to your rooms
To do your homework
You all need to read the history books
And refresh your geography
So here’s the thing:
If you could just stop making bombs. And you, if you could stop pretending you haven’t sold any bombs. And then if you could stop pretending you haven’t bought any bombs. And then you, if you could stop threatening to bomb us, that would be brilliant. Yeah. If you could all stop threatening us with all your bombs that you haven’t built or sold or bought that would be terrific. Hang on . Let me put it another way, simplify things, if you could stop making bombs and you stop selling bombs and if you could stop bombing people and if you could all stop threatening us all with bombs all the fucking time that would be brilliant. One more time, let me put it another way, if you could stop making bombs and if you could stop selling bombs to the other side when you are meant to be on the other side. And if you could stop accusing the other one of having the bombs, whilst procuring the production of more bombs, which you know the latter has because you have the receipts because it was you who fucking ordered them in to be manufactured and sold in the first fucking place…that would be great.
Now go and have a fucking cup of tea and do a crossword
Do something lovely and ordinary with your time
Bake a fucking cake or something
Since you have all this surplus energy and money for bombs and war planes
Go and build a school or a hospital or save the rain forests or something useful
Put all that war chest money into grants towards that cure for cancer or world poverty
Save a soldier, save some money, send him home.
There is not one person I know wants to see another human being killed, not ever
I certainly don’t want anyone shot or blown up, how ludicrous
And you always end up bombing schools and hospitals and
Killing children and women, because your aim is crap
At least we are all to believe that its because your aim is crap
Now climb off your war horses and stop yelling charge
Its repetitive and its pissing us all off
Seriously, I think I can safely say
You are pissing everyone off
With the constant fighty-talk
I just had to switch Radio 4 off, yet again
It was vibrating with all the chest beating
My radio was filled with a bunch of silver back gorillas
Stop with the King Kong method
What is it with all the killy-killy-bomb talk?
Are you all drunk or something?
Has your summer of “Get Lucky” gone a bit sour
Stay up all night to get killy…
Stay up all night to get bomby…
Obama, Cameron, Putin, Bashar, Letta
Whips and spins and government war stirrers
Every one of you in every war bunker
Yes, you and you, all of you
All of you, go to your rooms
I think you need to go take a nap
Start a war? Seriously?
You are going to start a war?
Start a war? START A WAR?
Chemical weapons, bullets, mine fields, bombs, all that good stuff?
Yep. That’s your solution is it?
You bag of hopeless dicks.
With Kindest Regards,
Pretty much everyone.
(c) Salena Godden / September 2013